ON A THREE DAY BOAT TRIP

                                         The EAU-CLAIRE  S.S. MINNOW

The five of us headed out on a 3 Day adventure on a boat. Hey that sounds just like a TV show that was around a few years ago. I reckon that the boat can be reffered to from here on as the S.S. Minnow. Unfortunately some on board were playing a little short of a “full deck” so a couple of us had to help out by playing more than one part for the show:


The cast were as follows :

The S.S. Minnow                                     EAU-CLAIRE                               

Captain Jonas Grumby “Skipper”
&
Thurston Howell 3rd.                                Leo


Eunice “Lovely” Howell 3rd.                    Margaret


Roy Hinkley “Professor”
&
Gilligan                                                    Scruff

“Mary Ann” Summers                             FBD (Ali)

“Ginger” Grant                                        Aunty Pat



The weather was perfect and we avoided being Ship Wrecked on a Tropical Island, but the “Skipper”, Thurston Howell 3rd, the “Professor” & Gilligan did (so we were told) get wrecked at the “Relais Fleuri Hotel” one afternoon while playing “Charades” with the owners and some of the locals.

 Good PR for Australia and Australians in a foreign country. Once we knew that they had heard of “Skippy” our task as ambassadors became a lot easier & the cash injection into the local economy on that night probably saved the town from Recession for the rest of 2010.

The “Skipper & Thurston Howell 3rd” particularly liked the “double bar room type swing doors” on the Gent’s Toilet. He strode back into the bar pretending to have his weapon/s drawn
(yeah, your probably right, you don’t get that silly playing with one) and was greeted by the amused locals chanting something about cowboys. (leave Broke Back Mountain out of this)

                                         A huge storm hit !!!!!


From Ali:

Should you go to Einville au Jard and visit the little hotel identifying yourself as an Australian, you will get an hilarious report of the evening, esp if you speak French- cos they don’t speak any English!

About the non-f-French speakers, one of them tried to sing the praises of explorer Nicholas Baudin (remember this is in charade language- hard enough in your own tongue). Never heard of him, you say? Ditto the French.

As for Scruff’s effort to try to establish the year the hotel was built, the French use a 24 hour clock and his guess of 1830 made no sense- clearly the pub hadn’t closed and it was well past 8pm. They just had another drink. So did we while we waited for them to come back for dinner.

Hotel Normandie, Amiens

Leo and I arrived at the Hotel Normandie late afternoon and found a quite small doorway which was just big enough to enable a couple of average size blokes like us to enter and checked in at reception. The young lady at reception was very charming and indicated that our room was on the 2nd. Floor of the establishment and that we could take the stairs.

When we enquired about a lift the “news was not good”.


It was at this stage that the “Width of Leo’s Backside” (WLB) became the base measure for any measurement that needed explaining to anybody that wasn’t there. The spiral staircase needed to gain access to our room was 1.1 WLB wide and of 40 steps duration. We were just thankful that our suitcases (mine, about 23kg) was less than 1 WLB.

We entered our room to find a double bed, a single bed, a desk, chair and stool a TV hanging off the roof, pointing towards the double bed and an “en suite”.

As you can see from the photo below, the room is approx. 5 WLB in width

The lenght of the room is approx 12 WLB.
 

 
But wait there's more !!! The en suite was built for fashion models, not average size blokes like us !!!
 
 

The pan was on a box, (must have been an after-thought) The folding door "almost" closed, The shower cubicle was a bit squeezy (only 1.05 WLB x 1.05 WLB) to use the mirror I needed to stand outside the en suite because unless I had my reading glasses on, it was impossible to get the image in the mirror in focus. When using the "Thunder Box" it was a little disturbing knowing that Leo's bed (the pillow end of his bed) was only about .8 WLB from the opening of the door that would not close properly. He is a nice bloke but I don't know that I really want to be that close while I am exercising my bodily functions. I mean "heaven forbid" what if I accidentally "passed wind" and the aroma was not pleasant. I could never forgive myself !!!

Well we survived the experience and caught the train the following morning to meet up with FBD (Ali) Margret and Marg's sister Pat.

The next adventure is a 3 day boat trip along the canal country of France. Stay Tuned!!

 

Tour of the BATTLEFIELDS of FRANCE & BELGIUM

                                         Westhof Farm Cemetery

DAY 1

Leo & I set off to Lille to meet up with the touring party. Our guide was Steve, he served in the British Army and is an avid war historian. We traveled in a Renault Mini Bus with 3 other Aussies (Ian, Lyn & their 24 year old son Hugh) from Queensland. Really nice folks, they had similar sense of humor to us and we all got on well.

Leo’s father served in the 44th Battalion, 3rd Division AIF in WW1 and returned from the war. I was in search of ”Great Uncle, Private Harold Heath’s” final resting place in the Westhof Farm Cemetery in Belgium.

It was quite strange as I arrived at the cemetery. From my prior research I knew that I could walk straight up to his grave site. He was in section 2 of the front row, 5 graves this side of the monument. The cemetery is only small, but (as with all of the CWG sites) it is “manicured”. Each site has a book with all of the names (and some details) of the dead buried there. A visitor’s book enables you to leave your name and a message if you wish. Unfortunately the sun was not on the face of the headstone and it was difficult to see or read (or photograph) the details. I did the best I could but the results were not good. Everyone was very disappointed for me, and unknown to me, arranged to go to the cemetery early the following day on the chance that the sun may have been on the face of the headstone. But alas we still missed out. It was suggested that water poured on the headstone may highlight the inscription. It appeared to but the photos are still quite ordinary.

The Buglers at the Menin Gate

I will not go into details of the other places we visited during the day because they are too numerous to mention, but the day was finished by being at Ypres and watching the “Last Post” ceremony at the Menin Gate” & 8.00 pm (This ceremony is carried out 365 days a year and has been since 1927 to express their eternal gratitude for saving the Independence & Freedom of Belgium) We estimate that approx 800 - 1000 people would have witnessed it tonight.

DAY 2

Today we visited many famous places of military interest including the Somme, Fromelles Battlegrounds, Bullecourt and where the British and Empire forces launched an offensive around the town of Arras in early April 1917. We are to stay overnight in Arras and we drink quite a few beers before going to a function in the evening and drinking quite a few more. Fortunately for us, we can sleep in Sunday morning.  NOT!!!!!

DAY 3

ANZAC DAY . The alarm is set for 1.30 am for an early start to get on the bus to be at Villers-Bretonneux for the Dawn Service. I went prepared to take lots of photos and video of the service but it was so moving that I only took 1 photo. There were approx 3000 – 3500 people at the service and you could have heard a pin drop. It looks amazing on TV but to actually be there was something else. After the service I was interviewed by Channel 7. Leo reckons that it was only because I was wearing my Akubra and looked like Bazza McKenzie.

Afterwards we were taken to the village of V-B for breakfast and were given the opportunity to march in their Anzac March up the hill to a memorial for another Anzac Day Service. As we reached the top of the hill the crowd started to clap and cheer. Leo said they only did that because they heard that the tall bloke in the Akubra had been interview by Channel 7. I was starting to get the impression that he was jealous. We visited the local school that had been built from money donated by Victorian kids after the war

The rest of the day was taken up with visiting other Battlefield Sites & Monuments of interest, finishing up at our overnight accomodation at the Hotel Normandie in Amiens. Now that is an amusing story, stay tuned.

Belgium

                                             VIRGINIE & FREDERICK

We caught a FAST TRAIN into Belgium and went to Brussels (a 1 ½ hour trip) Then a local train to Tubize


Then on to a great little place called Oisqercq, to catch up with a lovely young lady by the name of Virginie. She was a rotary exchange student at Salisbury East High School who I taught 16 years ago. Virginie became a Vet and runs her practice from downstairs of her home. Virginie & Frederick have 2 beautiful daughters, Lucy (7 yrs) and Sarah (5 yrs) Fredrick does not speak any English, so Ali had a chance to practice her year 12 French.
 They could not do enough for us, even to the extent of use of their bed. Virginie said that she never thought that she would have one of her teachers sleeping in her bed. I said that she did in fact have 2 teachers sleeping in her bed & expressed our gratitude for them sleeping with their kids so that we could. Our stay was far too short but we needed to see the sights and then return to Paris.

I fitted in very well with the locals, I don’t think that they have realised that I am not from around here. Although I did let my guard slip a couple of times in Brussels while visiting the “Grand Place”. I was visiting the “Brewers Museum” and asked the staff who the gentleman was in the photograph on the wall. Being a keen Beer Drinker I surmised that perhaps it was the “Head Brewer” of Belgium. Got it in one, gee I’m good it was the “Head Brewer”. Over here they call him the King of Belgium. None of this “stuck up” Pommie stuff about have to be born into the position. So long as your “Home Brew” is better than anyone else…………You’re the King.

                                                     BEST HOME BREWER

                                  

The other time was just after that on the way to the railway station. The traffic was reasonably busy and I saw taxi heading in our direction so “quick as a flash” ……..out with the digit. As the car came closer and we prepared ourselves to board the conveyance I noticed that the taxi driver was wearing a uniform. It became obvious that the wage of a “Copper” in Belgium is not that good and they have to “moonlight” as taxi drivers to make ends meet. This guy wasn’t too bright though. He had forgotten to replace the POLICE sign on the side of the car with a TAXI sign. I then figured that if he was “that thick” he probably wouldn’t know how to get to the railway station and we could have ended up anywhere. A quick retraction of the digit and a polite wave to a bloke on the other side of the road fixed the problem. I did think of dobbing him in, but if he was that thick he needs all the help he can get.

TIME TO RELAX

It appears that the national past-time in Paris is to sit in café’s drinking and eating. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is they sit, eat & drink. I could get used to this life style.

The only people who work over here seem to be of African heritage and they have a fixation with miniature Tower Eiffels. They must have a great big factory somewhere in France because the little towers are in plague proportions. Even if you are visiting the “Louvre” or the “Pantheon” or the “Arc de Triomphe” someone will be there trying to sell you a miniature Tower Eiffel.

We haven’t found a Pub yet so the local Supermarket is getting a bit of a hammering in their grog department. I should suggest to them that if they stocked some good ole’ “Aussie Beer”, put a card table and a couple of deck chairs out the front of the store, supply a bit of Tasty Coon Cheese & some Jatz, my traveling companions and I would visit even more regularly. It could even become a tourism icon right in the centre of Paris, there’s nothing there at the moment. Well there is a bloody big tower, but that is going rusty.

It's Time To Catch Up On The Goss.

Sorry about being off the air of late, but have been busier than a One Legged Sydney Taxi Driver.

Lots of seeing of the sights of Paris, trying to avoiding being robbed by the "Gypsies" every time you step out of your door or catch a train and "Downing a Few Froffies" with Leo (my father in-law).

Some of what I am about to tell you may be slightly out of order but I think you will get the drift. (Don't worry if the Dates and /or Times are up the sh*t)

Bonjaw Missyours & Mudarms

We are safe and sound in Paris and my French is going well!
After enduring 12 hours with my legs unable to move, it was then time to get through the check points at Charles De Gaulle Airport. The cattle aboard the A380 Airbus were herded into a not very wide holding yard while 4 officials checked our passports for "Mad Cow Desease".
Then it's time to find the luggage!!! But lets face it, standing up is a lot better than sitting in the plane. Our Chauffer is there to meet us and we leave on the 30km ride to our place of abode in Paris.
What a great experience this is!!!! It took about an hour because we are travelling at peak hour (am) There don't seem to be any rules. So long as you keep up with everyone else (or go faster than everyone else) its easy!!!! But you must always stay in your lane, unless there is a spot over in someone elses lane that you think you might like, or, if most of the other drivers move over on the left & the right of you it is possible to make 6 lanes out of the 5 (that is of course if there are any lanes marked at all) But be careful because the motor bikes like to travel quite quickly between the cars.
Intersections are "fantastic fun" I cannot understand why we don't get the French Motoring Authority as advisors for the Brittannia Roundabout. There are no lanes, everyone wants to go in different directions and they all get there (be buggered if I can work out how they do it) Its got to be seen to be believed.
We are staying with Claire (who works for DFAT) and as you look out of the window/s (kitchen, lounge, TV room) of the 5 bedroom apartment in the Australian Compound, within a km some bugger has been using heaps of bloody Meccano Sets and has left his creation down the street. Now if you or I did that we would be arrested.
Time for a 1664 now. I can't quite work out the code but I think that 1= B, 6=E & 4=R.
Cheers, Scruff.

From Ali,
As I sit typing I look at the Meccano E tower, but I can't see the top or the bottom because we are TOO CLOSE!!
Paris is cool but clear and sunny. The sight seeing is gorgeous and it is strange to see that ordinary Paisiens just take their famous surroundings for granted. Tourists they don't much care for. Things aren't cheap but they're not as gougingly expensive as expected, so it's all good. I feel like the city is smaller than I remember from 30 years ago, but it can't be of course- I guess my awe factor has lessened over time.
I will continue to test my awe factor on the sights, food (oh, the wine and cheeses!) and experiences and let you know how it's going!!!
Alison

We made it to Singapore

Waiting at Adelaide Airport

Day one of the "Cultural Adventure" The big bird took off at about Noon, and sitting in the "Lotus Position" started just after that. Cattle Class is only designed for "Short Cattle".

The service by the "Singapore Girls" was excellent with free drinks & nibbles for the 6 hour 40 min flight. No West End Draught but Coopers was available.

Had a great Taxi driver from Changi Airport who answered our numerous questions and pointed bits on the way to the Royal Plaza Hotel in the city. Peed with rain all the way to the city and made travelling on the 5 lane freeway a bit interesting. One of the electric signs on the freeway notified drivers of a "MASSIVE JAM" ahead.

Time now to freshen up and then go for a wonder along the main strip before catching up on a bit of sleep on the "King Size" bed in our room. Cheers Scruff.

Ali says:

Ah, take off on an international flight is just so much better than domestic!!! Avatar is not too bad for an animated feature and at 160 min, takes up a lot of flight time. Steamy in Singapore, and raining. We're about to go in search of dinner- we are right in the middle of the shopping area. Au revoir.